Если вы считаете, что достигли гармонии с собой – поживите неделю с родителями. Неважно, сколько вам лет, как только вы оказываетесь с ними, вы автоматически становитесь ребенком. Если у вас сложные отношения с родителями, то нахождение с ними вновь вызовет в памяти несчастливые и болезненные воспоминания. А родители будут обращаться с вами так, как обращались всегда. Но сейчас не так уж и важно, кто из вас прав, а кто виноват. Наши взаимоотношения с родителями – один из основных барьеров на пути любви к самому себе. Эта книга поможет преодолеть конфликты, берущие начало в детстве, и жить в мире со своей семьей и другими людьми.

Из этой книги вы узнаете:

– как развивается динамика отношений родитель-ребенок;

– как ваше детство влияет на взрослую жизнь;

– почему так трудно изменить своих родителей;

– какие защитные механизмы мешают полюбить себя;

– как исцелить своего внутреннего ребенка и позаботиться о его потребностях.

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По названию книги я считала, что текст будет о том, как полюбить себя, перестать критиковать на ровном месте и найти контакт с самим собой. Но книга оказалась об отношениях со своими родителями.

Автор в самом начале пишет, что книга – это только его рассуждения и не имеет научной или психологической базы. Благодаря этому часть претензий я сняла, хотя они и были. Например, автор пишет, что дети всегда повторяют своих родителей и во взрослом возрасте ведут себя ровно также, забывая, что часть детей наоборот будет выстраивать себя, чтобы не иметь ничего общего со своей семьей. Так же и фразы, как «Когда людей спрашивают об их детстве, то они его либо не помнят, либо помнят хорошее». Ну да, ведь не существует людей которых от одного упоминания о собственном детстве бросает в холодных пот и им наоборот сложно вспомнить что-то хорошее. Но ладно, автор сказал, что на науку не опирался, так что не буду.

В любой книге по самопомощи я ожидаю увидеть практическую часть – упражнения, вопросы, которые можно себе задать или материал для размышлений. Здесь ничего такого нет. Автор просто рассказывает о своей жизни и своих взаимоотношениях с родителями, между тем вставляя переработки из других книг (Например, «Пять языков любви»).

В общем, меня ввело в заблуждение название книги и аннотация и я посчитала, что книга об одном, а она оказалась совершенно о другом. Но даже если и оценивать этот текст как книгу про то, как перестать обвинять родителей в том, что они тебя недолюбили – то я бы не оценила ее высоко. Я также прошла через выстраивание границ с родителями, училась принимать себя как отдельного взрослого человека, а не ребенка, но шла другими путями. И в этой книге не нашла ничего полезного или того, что могло бы откликнуться во мне.

","user_display_name":"Екатерина Агеенко","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/02/59/97/13/94/259971394.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":259971394,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2020-02-23T13:40:18","likes_rating":115,"likes_count":134,"dislikes_count":19,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":3,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":5995380,"caption":null,"text":"

Всю книгу можно разобрать на цитаты и это лишь некоторые из них:

«Я начал убегать от своих родителей с пяти лет. И только став взрослым, я понял, что на самом деле просто хотел, чтобы кто-то побежал за мной, когда я убегал».

«Ведь в каждом взрослом живет ребенок, а каждый ребенок – будущий взрослый».

"В тот момент я хотел, чтобы отец проявил ко мне больше участия. Но он не проявил, и я понял, что должен проглотить это и сам справляться со своими проблемами.\"

" я вырос, веря, что нужды других людей важнее,

чем мои собственные. Теперь, будучи взрослым, мне трудно

настоять на своем и сделать так, чтобы прислушались к моему мнению.\"

"Однажды утром, во время своей обычной медитации, я вдруг начал плакать. Это было не из-за стресса. Это также не было жалостью к самому себе. Это было пришедшее понимание того, как часто я игнорирую этот тихий голосок внутри меня, который очень хочет быть услышанным. \" именно такое порой происходило со мной во время работы (работы практически 24/7 и без какого либо отдыха и отпуска, когда днем работа, а вечером мама)

Эта книга, просто невероятна, с первых слов и предложений возникает ощущение, будто автор пишет именно обо мне, очень круто проработаны вопросы детских травм и поведения, которое невольно нам навязали родители, в дальнейшем автор рассказывает как менять установки и привычки, как грамотно выстроить отношения со своим внутренним ребенком и внутренним родителем и тем самым нормализовать отношения с родными)

Мне очень понравилось, 160 стр. на одном дыхании. Благодарю автора за чудесную книгу, думаю стоит посмотреть и другие его произведения. Текст очень глубоко продуман, книга заставляет задуматься. Советую прочесть эту книгу, не только тем, у кого возникают сложности с родителями, но и тем кто уже является им!!!

Станьте для своего ребенка лучшим на свете родителем, потому как разбирая проблемы ребенка, так же затрагиваются вопросы обесценивания взрослыми детских проблем

ООООООЧЕНЬ РЕКОМЕНДУЮ К ПРОЧТЕНИЮ

","user_display_name":"Лана Кравченко","user_avatar_url":"/pub/avatar/100/00/04/30/86/68/94/430866894.jpg","user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":430866894,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2020-02-15T13:06:41","likes_rating":57,"likes_count":62,"dislikes_count":5,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":5,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":6394828,"caption":null,"text":"

Я купила книгу, чтобы разобраться в самой себе, в своих желаниях и своих реакциях.

Книга оказалась не только о внутреннем ребенке, но и говорит много о взаимоотношениях с родителями. Автор, приводя пример на себе и своих родителях, хотел показать, как наши субличности родитель и ребенок взаимодействуют, но мне не хватило моста между примерами отношений настоящих людей с внутренними субличностями. И часто я не понимала, как это перенести на себя. Поэтому, много информации как-то проскочили мимо. И я ждала, что мост появится. Не появился. Для меня. К концу книги я уже расслабилась и принимала ее, как книгу об отношениях с родителями. И стало интересней. Поэтому, если кто-то будет читать, знайте, что там мало про своего внутреннего ребенка, а больше про отношения с родителями.

Книга читается до странности легко. Она как-то проскользнула. И внимание цеалялось за немногие вещи. Но, если представить, что вы с кем-то болтаете, размышляете на тему, то эта книга подойдет отлично.

Во время прочтения я пыталась прощупать свои субличности и разделить их, понять их взаимоотношения. Пускай, книга не особо о внутреннем ребенке, но когда наше внимание там, мы вдруг замечаем то, что раньше не видели.

Два года я не давала себе порисовать. У меня лежали краски и холст. Я выбирала делать более важные дела, которые принесут пользу, а не бессмысленное рисование. И причем, рисовать то я не умею. Мне просто хотелось поводить кисточкой.

Вчера я вышла из душного дома в сад. Пила холодную воду и думала:\"Как же круто было бы вынести краски на улицу и порисовать\". А потом:\" Нет, у меня есть много важных дел. Я сегодня ещё не работала\". А потом я подумала:\"А почему нет, если я давно хочу?\" И тогда я поняла, что это был диалог внутреннего родителя и ребенка. Я пошла за холстом и красками и начала рисовать. Это было незабываемо. Мой внутренний ребенок счастлив. А внутренний родитель гордится тем, что прислушался к детскому голосу.

","user_display_name":"autoreg991103058","user_avatar_url":null,"user_is_verified":false,"user_role":null,"user_id":392200255,"is_comment_left_by_reviewed_person":null,"created_at":"2020-04-09T01:24:20","likes_rating":56,"likes_count":57,"dislikes_count":1,"is_liked_by_current_user":false,"is_disliked_by_current_user":false,"is_removed_by_moderator":false,"black_listed_by_user":false,"item_rating":4,"replies":[],"is_user_profile_clickable":true,"source":"litres","replies_count":0},{"id":6473680,"caption":null,"text":"

Книга знакома мне по ссылкам очень давно. Да и тема стара как мир. Великий Берт Хеллингер сказал, что только в 55 лет он закончил первичную психотерапию. По другому говоря, он прошел терапию детско-родительских отношений. А это самое важное для того, чтобы научиться проживать абсолютно свою автономную жизнь. Но при этом, иметь в сердце двух дорогих людей – папу и маму – в виде внутренних опор, уважения и благодарности. Рекомендую приобрести и прочитать книгу всем тем, кто находится в поиске себя и восстановления собственного Я, и тем кто готов сам себе дать то, что не дали папа и мама.

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Эта книга для тех , кто испытал и испытывает боль во взаимооотношениях с родителями. Мне эта книжка оказалась полезной на все 100 %, в ней подробно описывается как излечить себя и стать полноценной личностью, несмотря на отсутствие любви родительской в детстве. Написана она простым понятным языком, читается легко и сразу. Очень мудрая и хорошая книга.

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Мои родители не были «плохими». Я просто хотел, чтобы они были более понимающими, поддерживали меня, а не критиковали и контролировали каждый мой шаг. Я хотел, чтобы они принимали меня таким, какой я есть, и давали бы мне свободу быть самим собой,

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Джея Уорли «Селфтерапия. Разбуди Внутреннего Ребенка».

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Чем больше вы не хотите походить на своих родителей, тем больше будете на них похожи.

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Любить себя станет нашей обязанностью, и это то, что каждый из нас в состоянии сделать, потому что источником любви являемся мы сами.

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Ребенком меня учили сопереживать другим, а также приспосабливаться и не создавать проблем. К сожалению, это означало и то, что я вырос, веря, что нужды других людей важнее, чем мои собственные. Теперь, будучи взрослым, мне трудно настоять на своем и сделать так, чтобы прислушались к моему мнению.

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